Do I Have What It Takes?

Last week, a friend asked me: How do you not have self-doubt? I replied that I’m glad I gave off the impression that I am unphased, but this isn’t the truth.

I have doubts about many things. My academics, my rowing performance, and my book career. Can I truly turn my hobby into a career? How will it work? How will I support myself? Are my ambitions resting on only dreams, or can I crystallise them into a genuine business?

As I finish the final semester of the decade, and am only 44 teaching hours away from graduating, I have spent the past few months mulling over my career options.

One book dealer recommended that I should go solo sooner rather than later. I initially scoffed at the absurdity of this- I’m inexperienced, how on earth can I run before learning to walk? But then a head auctioneer told me the same thing. Go solo: it’s more fun, more personal, and you make more money. It’ll be the best thing I ever do, and I’ll regret wasting years of my life working underneath someone if I just occupy someone else’s company desk.

The seed was planted. Two different professionals had urged me to fly alone. Now I had to probe my options. That week, I went to two different entrepreneur meetings. The first was on building resilience with start-ups; the second was how the university can support me in my journey, and how to follow a step-by-step business plan to achieve my goals. The speakers were surprised at my career choice, as they’d never heard of it before.

Taking that transitory path from amateur to hopeful professional is an ongoing process, and one that needs a lot of work before even putting in the work. It will take time, and be a slow-burner. But there are key milestones along the way.

I’ve already sold my first book. I’ve attended fairs in Edinburgh, London, and Seattle. In LA and Amsterdam, I even wore an exhibitor’s badge. All my time spent perusing P.B.F.A fairs means that I have at least three different referees who will support me in my application to become a dealer myself one day. I have been the face behind five different book Instagram accounts in the past year alone.

There is a long way to go. But I have ambition, and I believe that this is something I could take further than I ever dreamed. Once I set my mind to something, I do everything possible in order to make it happen. I believe in the power of old books, and that I would be happy committing the rest of my life to their majesty.

So watch this space. One day, you’ll see ‘The Fairy Antiquarian’ with her own shop and her own stock. Perhaps that day is not as far into the future as once thought…